Some people need a push at times to propel them into action, some can use a little help now and then when it comes to meeting new people, going on a date for example…
What if your friend goes on a date tonight but she is absolutely terrified ! She’s nervous…She’s afraid that she will stutter or have a total black out ! She has asked your help !
The only advice you can think of is a classic : “Imagine your date naked sweety, that’ll break the ice, that will do it ! ”
It surely gets you focused on something else for a while or it will at least put a smile on your face…but is this advice sufficient to overcome your fears and sense of insecurity ?
What if your friend says : “Well that’s my problem ! I feel naked the moment I find myself face to face with my date, I feel uncomfortable when they stare at me, I feel vulnerable and I’m afraid ! What can I do about that ?”
Here’s some advice inspired by Mis(s)behave Miranda in case of acute symptoms of insecurity :
Be vulnerable !
Pardon me ? Yes, you heard it very well my dear : your vulnerability might be your biggest asset. No need to hide anything ! You are your authentic you and you are expressing it ! You might aswell inspire and invite your date to do the same… just showing his true self, without any masks !
You are a real, genuine human, displaying your qualities and your flaws…You don’t pretend to be someone else. What you see is what you get…
Be prepared !
You can’t leave everything to chance…A little preparation might be necessary…Having a plan B in mind, having some subjects in mind to avoid these awkward moments of silence….
Controle freak ? Perfectionist ? I know you tend to get nervous even when you are fully equipped for the job, you might be very passionate, you even might be the very best in what you are doing but you often sabotage yourself because of your anxiety and insecurity. You put a lot of pressure on yourself !
You freak out when things don’t go as planned or when something unexpected happens…You anxiously want to be in control…you are definitely not the one who will improvise when things go wrong…
Know it’s all about balance…Try to be more spontaneous in your interactions with your partner ! Don’t be so tensed. Loosen up !
Never focus on the negative !
Do you know someone who attracts weird situations continuously as if Murphy’s law were inspired by them,….they seem to be chased by bad luck constantly…Every doom scenario comes to pass…Disaster is always following their footsteps…
Don’t think too much about the things that can go wrong. Whatever you focus on grows ! Your negative imagery, your doubts and worries will leave you even more insecure. Put some positivity in yourself !
With your thoughts and words you give yourself commands (autosuggestions). If you are unconscious of your negative self-talk, your thoughts will turn into a belief and will start a life of their own. They will play in auto mode in the back of your head, constantly attracting bad vibes…Break the pattern !
Be careful what you wish for and don’t put spells on yourself !
Ask advice !
You could do a role play with a friend and practise some good oneliners and jokes. You could ask them to interview you about a topic you are interested in or feel extremely excited and confident about !
You can ask them to be there as a support on the sidelines, as your back up in case of emergency…they can bring you back to senses, they can get your fire started, bring some welcome distraction to the party or scare your date away when he’s a creep !
“But what if I still make a complete fool out of myself…?”
Face your fears & do it anyway !
Do you really want to know if he’s mister Right…? Face your fears or face the regrets ! See it as a challenge. Be courageous ! Sharpen your senses and go for it !! And if at first you don’t succeed…brush yourself off and try again !
Always imagine a good outcome !
I guess I am repeating myself but… Learn to feel it for real baby !!! Focus on the desired outcome : change your vision until it feels good !
Influence your subconscious with the right impressions ! YES, IMPRESS IT ! You must make mental pictures of what you want and REPEAT them diligently but with ease, effortlessly and smoothly…
Rehearse your walk and talk and have fun improvising !!!
Phuro! Be inspired!